I was reading a book and suddenly heard a loud noise from outside.
Can you please elaborate?
That's what sir, BANG!, and seconds later, a second BANG.
Will you be able to recreate your evening till the incident?
Yes, sir. Yesterday I came back late from work to attend two more late evening
meetings. Ms. Elusive Luck's birthday, both meetings got cancelled at my
arrival. So, I practised music for what I thought was an hour. Sir, It was a
good workout, and by the end I was sweating and shivering from forehead to
heels. I wrapped the set, and was hungrily wandering indoors. That's when i saw
the most beautiful thing on my study table. A banana! Who keeps a banana on a
study table, sir? Well, I did. Yesterday morning. Sync sir, Unbelievable.
Alright, then what?
Sir, I thought of cooking dinner. Dosa in my mind, I found couple of duck eggs
in the fridge. 'Egg Dosa' creeped, sorry, crept into my head. I fetched Dosa
batter and eggs to the warmth outside. Roasted some curry leaves, and ground
them with chillies into a lush green paste. Fried some Coin Pappads as well.
An eerie silence lurked in the kitchen while I was chopping onions. I added salt
and a pinch of turmeric to the onions. Then I introduced our dear eggs to Madame
la Guillotine, CRACK! its viscous yellow head crashed into the bowl. I stirred
a motley mixture with all that. When the pan on the stove started whispering to
the winds I threw a water blanket over it. The pan hissed and shot
sodium-in-water tantrums at me. I calmly slid the hot bubbling bubbles into the
sink. Then I painted a solar system on the pan with batter. The system had to
be perfect. A subtle press in the center followed by concentric Sufi
whirling. It must spread into a round Gaussian distribution and scatter a
Brownian motion of batter pores. The pores would channel the steam upwards,
cooking the layers above en route its itinerary. Then, I sprayed oil, and
smeared the lush green paste on top of the maturing Dosa. Few seconds later, I
massaged the duck egg mash on the green pasture. Juxtaposition, hitherto
unrealistic, was accomplished.
Sir, I flipped the Dosa, and waited for the other side to get cooked, flipped it
again, and kept the Dosa aside. Made one more Dosa like that, sir. Later, I ate
both Dosas with Maple syrup, Chammanthi Podi, and Coin pappads sir.
Sync sir, Unbelievable.
What is a Chammanthi podi?
Sir, this is not the appropriate time sir. Maybe later.
I had a pear, drank 350ml of water, brushed my teeth, wrote a blog post, washed
my legs, and went to bed. I continued reading the book "To kill a mockingbird",
when suddenly heard a loud noise from outside sir.
Is that it?
Well, write down your address and phone number. You will have to come to the
police station when called upon, to give your statement about yesterday's
Done deal sir. Many peace.
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